What?
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Garraty needs to learn about homosexuality before he can learn about the fandom. Crack. Slash. Rated T for language. Has once been called the 'bible' of The Long Walk fandom.


This was, without a doubt, pure and utter insanity.

Ray Garraty glanced at McVries, who was grinning. "Are you sure this is an okay place?" he asked. "You do realize that there are really weird people here, right?"

McVries, still grinning, nodded. "Yep. Hey, there's Parker!"

Parker, a big-muscled blond in a Hawaiian shirt with a polo underneath, was arguing with a boy about half his size. "That's Barkovitch. Him and Parker-"

"We're done! Forever!" Barkovitch screamed, stomping away. Parker sighed, facepalmed, and followed him.

"Oh, McVries. Third fucking time this has happened today," Parker said on his way past. "By the way, if you're looking for Baker, he's with Abraham. Wouldn't interrupt them if I was you."

Garraty took this time to look around the… place. He wasn't quite sure what to call it; it really was just a room full of couches and stuff. There were two blonds on a couch near the corner, one of them in a weird outfit, and the other one looked about thirteen. Two bespectacled boys were sitting at a table, discussing something over spaghetti. Jan was serenading another girl. As was an adult man who looked old enough to be anyone in this room's father.

Two boys stumbled through the door, breathless, red-faced, and looking like they'd just been doing inappropriate things. "Baker!" McVries cheered, grabbing Garraty's hand and pulling him over to the group. "This is Art Baker and his boyfriend, Abraham."

Art Baker smiled at him. Garraty found this boy beautiful.

* * *

"C'mon, I didn't mean to-"

"You keep saying that, but I really don't think you mean it," Barkovitch said, crossing his arms and leaning against a wall that had conveniently appeared. "Seriously, Blondie. You keep confusing me."

"You think I'm not confused either? Fuck, you're the most confusing little bitch on the planet! One minute you're all normal, and the next you're like 'I'll dance on your grave' and the next you've started to freak out about something or another, and then it's back to 'I'll dance on your grave' and-" Parker sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's almost as confusing as which shirt I'm wearing or what color Jan's hair is."

"You're not wearing any shirt," Barkovitch pointed out.

Both of Parker's shirts had mysteriously disappeared.

"Oh. Right. Anyway, so, can we try again?" Parker asked. "And possibly not break up any hour?"

"Whatever," Barkovitch said, narrowing his eyes. "But if you-"

"If you mention dancing on anyone's grave I will pull your fucking nose off and make you eat it."

* * *

Abraham kissed Baker again, smirking at McVries's boyfriend's expression. Baker looked a bit confused as to why Abraham was kissing him so much, but he didn't complain. McVries rolled his eyes.

"And they're back together," McVries observed. Sure enough, Parker and Barkovitch were walking back through the door, arguing, as usual. Parker was not wearing a shirt. Barkovitch's arms were crossed. All in all, what was normal for them.

The two walked over to them, Barkovitch muttering under his breath. "What're you doing here, scarface?" he snarled. McVries rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, killer," he said. Garraty looked confused so Abraham explained.

"Barkovitch brutally murdered Parker's ex-boyfriend."

"Really?"

"No, Barkovitch was just screaming at the guy and he fell off a bridge," Abraham said, shrugging. "But, you know. Whatever."

* * *

Olson was sitting in the corner away from everyone, sullenly smoking a cigarette. "Why can't I be shipped with anyone? Is it because I died too soon?" he asked himself.

* * *

Garraty was thoroughly freaked out by the time McVries pulled him into the bathroom. "What is wrong with these people?" he asked. "They're all- they're all-"

Stebbins, who was standing on a toilet to peek over the stall door, whispered. "Kiiiiiiiiiiss." Garraty looked at him and he slowly crouched down so he wasn't visible anymore.

And then McVries kissed him.

Garraty pushed him away. "What are you doing?"

"What does it seem like?"

Garraty was confused, and then McVries kissed him again.

This time they were interrupted by Abraham and Baker pushing into the bathroom. They looked at Garraty and McVries for a while, then slipped into the broom closet that was for some reason in the bathroom.

McVries stood a little bit away from him now. "Don't you like me?" he asked. Garraty blinked.

"Uh. Not-"

And then in came Barkovitch and Parker. There was another random broom closet, but they didn't bother with it.

"Can we leave?" Garraty asked. McVries studied Barkovitch and Parker for a bit.

"Sometimes Baker and Abraham join in," he said. "Barkovitch is really flexible."

"Uh…"

"Oh, right, you're new to this whole 'everyone's gay' thing," McVries said, grinning at Garraty and pulling him out back into the main room. Garraty swore he heard Stebbins mutter 'kiiiiss' one more time.

Currently in the main room Jan and the Major were fighting for a dark-haired girl's love.

"That's Priscilla. She's my ex-girlfriend. She cut my face open," McVries said matter-of-factly. "Now she's in love with both your ex-girlfriend-"

"Jan and me never broke up!"

"Your ex-girlfriend and Stebbins's father."

Garraty sighed and face-palmed. This place was weird.


End file.
